My life has been a series of misfortunes and luck.
When I was a kid, ideas of my future career scrambled around combining the illustrious career of working in the Levi’s factory that was once located in my hometown, with a sideline in hairdressing.
As I got older and realised every little girl wanted to be a hairdresser, I moved in to the idea of marine biologist or artist. Of course being the 90’s, all of the adults that surrounded me told me that to be a marine biologist I’d have to work hard and move interstate, making the idea sound impossible. All the adults told me that artists only make money once their dead. Even photographers and graphic designers don’t make money.
And so on I meandered, through a BA where I didn’t do particularly well but I did enough to pass, through to a graduate diploma in visual arts which I foolishly sidelined for a stupid, horrible relationship (young love, hey?). During these times, I had been fortunate enough to have been given fabulous jobs in youth work, disability, and cleaning. These people who gave me these positions obviously saw something in me that I didn’t know I possessed. I felt awkward and weird and lost.
I felt like I was constantly waiting for something big. I was destined. If only I knew what it was.
And so fast forward ten years. Skip over a nursing degree, and 8 years in a permanent position. A grad dip and a casual position. And now a masters. All the while falling in an out of photography, art and deejaying, but feeling like a fraud. I was interesting hearing Zan Rowe talking the other day about how no matter how well we have done for ourselves, we’ll always feel like an imposter.
Throughout my life, two things have been constant: my need to have more than one job at once, and the opportunity to make and create.
I’ve always tried to fake it till I made it, remembering that even Jackson Pollock felt like a fraud. I’ve never been particularly confident, but then I’ve never particularly dedicated my heart and soul to any endeavour. I had a blog that could have been so much more. I curated and ran life drawing groups and painted. I deejayed and photographed all whilst feeling extreme lightening bolts of self doubt. Jack of all trades. Master of none.
And so now, I’m starting to get it. I’ve made my plans and I’ve chosen a future, kinda. Having kids has certainly help me realise what’s important, and I want to be a good role model for them.
It’s now the time that stop winging it and improve my skill set.
I like to google. I google everything. I’ve got a lot of questions and thanks to the internet I now have most of the answers.
So one late night, around the time that I hit burnout with my job, I googled online photography courses.
I found The Photography Institute and immediately enrolled. It’s taken a little while to get into the swing of things, with getting married and having two kidlets all in the space of three years. The beauty of this course is that I can take my time. They allow me that privilege and now I’m on a roll.
I’m learning so much. With each unit that I read, I find answers that google couldn’t give me. My passion is evolving and I honestly love it. It’s making me excited for the future and giving me focus.
I’m feeling like less of a fraud.
The Photography Insitute is where you can find out more.
PS This is not a sponsored post.